Friday 30 August 2013

Body of Christ

You aren't perfect. There may be something wrong with you. Don't be deceived into thinking that you're fine where you are, when you are not. You don't have to do everything. There aren't supposed to be a million bodies of Christ, but one body of Christ. Which piece of the puzzle are you?

Wednesday 28 August 2013

the unavoidable fate

This is my attempt at scrutinizing life & death. I don't exactly know what I'm going to write, but I may use evident samples from other people. Honestly though, why do you even have to give people credit? We are all just in in it for the pride; we are always sampling. Creative commons, ha, that's very funny! I would argue that a human in and of itself is not the root for any idea, though they may hold the idea inside of their hands. If we wanted to accurately give outsiders credit, we'd be writing freaking genealogies. I will just steal, and I will not include references. The subject of English can't put the writer inside of a cell. Did the writer form English or did English form the writer?

I'm writing this next section three days later. Maybe two days later. I forget how many days later. Anyway, I was upset when I wrote the above paragraph. I don't think it's necessarily terrible to give others credit. Giving credit can be arduous though. Giving credit can end up being an act of worship toward a human.

I will start by asking some questions. Why do humans die? What exactly is this sequence of events that we call life? Why do humans have the control to put an end to life but not an end to death? Sure, a human being can delay the death that is approaching, but it simply cannot be stopped.

It's actually quite strange how I don't understand life, since I've lived for 19 years. Experience and studying both fail at finding all of the answers; especially physical experience and studying. That's the difficult part of practicing spirituality. It's so easy to just act on the five physical senses at my disposal, instead of using that deeper sense - the soul. I can't prove that I have a soul though, can I? I'm pretty sure that I do, but how can I explain it? But hey, maybe I'm the only one on this earth? What if everything I know was formed by my imagination? What if my imagination is an imagination? I would argue that everyone believes in something that holds some amount of uncertainty. What you have faith in will show by what you are faithful to.

Humans can't put an end to death because it is controlled by something greater than ourselves. A human can trigger death, but it isn't evoked by them, since they haven't even faced the situation for themselves. Without Satan, there would be no death in the first place. It was the selfishness that screwed us over. And somehow God allows it to happen. God, why do you allow death to happen? Physical life is not eternal, and death is the hallway that every human passes through to make it to their place of dwelling. Eternity.

Thursday 22 August 2013

eternal

No matter how much I debate over spiritual matters, it won't make God any more real, and it won't make God any less real. However, it will have an impact on how personal God is to me. I don't want to run away from questions, with the fear that my faith is too minuscule to handle them. I want to defend the faith. I like running away from questions, because I have this hope that my mind will rest. Sometimes my mind rests, but questions keep on coming back to me. Having a clear mind sounds appealing. And sometimes, I would say that I do have a clear mind. It's that time when I forget the lows, but those are reoccurring for me. Life isn't entirely consistent for anybody. How could a microscopic human being make a higher Deity any more real? The creature doesn't form the Creator. I want some spiritual intimacy. An intimacy that goes beyond a mere human comprehension. But will I have logic to defend the faith against attacks?

If something is not eternal, does that mean it has no value? I get trapped in the mind-frame that this is TRUE. But I think that my disposition toward this idea may just be FALSE. Just because it's natural, doesn't mean it's normal (in this context, meaning a desire which is pleasing to God). However, I have not come to a conclusion yet. 

Yes, God does tell me to seek the things above. But he also made my physical body. My physical, dying, non eternal body. No matter how much I eat, drink, or pray, my body will pass. That is extremely depressing; at least, when I am looking through my human eyes. Wait a minute though, humans became disobedient to God's original plan, and went with desires that went against Him. This isn't how it was supposed to be. So how was it supposed to be? What are the morals and standards of my Heavenly Father? Christ is the example. What are the eyes of my soul seeing? Look to Christ, Graham.


Wednesday 21 August 2013

let my words be few

I'm too low right now to care about writing. Or at least, to care about writing anything profound. I make such an effort to be deep, and I try so hard to make profound statements. May the Hell-bent creature inside of me face execution. The Pride, I mean. I might be lying. I am a liar. Hey there conscience, remember Ecclesiastes 5:2. God, help me to be careful with how I use words. If I only had myself to speak on behalf of, I could say whatever I wanted to. But I do not; I have to represent God with my speech, which is unimaginably difficult! When I speak to others, does it represent Jesus? Does it honor God? It's easy to get carried away when emotions are at their peak.

Tuesday 20 August 2013

matthew 16:25

Matthew 16:25 "For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it; but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it." 

So many people describe Christian spirituality with words like "peace" and "joy", but I just don't see that in this verse. Lose my life? Well, which part of it am I supposed to give up? Lose my life for your sake? What is your sake, God? I never felt such lows until I gave my life to you (if I even did that), so am I suffering for God-honoring reasons? I hope so, because I'd hate it if I had just done this to myself. It wouldn't be worth it to build my own freaking box (and climb inside) and not be able to escape from it. Where is this returning depression coming from? I want a life away from flawed physicality, replaced with some beautiful consistency instead. I want spiritual life. I want for time to stop.  Searching for you is exhausting.

those who mourn

You hang above me, yet you're under my skin. You are more; you are more than the body I wake up and fall asleep in every morning, and every evening. Somehow, I'm still numb to it all. I'd die for myself, but would I die for you? I try to unearth the pain inside, but my efforts couldn't find. They couldn't find the reason for those who mourn.

Saturday 17 August 2013

The Pride




My body is filled with anger! The reason: how I reacted when asked about going to a local bar tonight to get drunk. I mean, wasn't the "invitation" more of a joke? Did I perceive things the right way, or the wrong way? I don't know how I should have interpreted this! 
"He's gonna get drunk for the first time." "He's going to give into the peer pressure." Admittedly, I thought that was funny. I laughed, smiled, and shook my head. I rambled about my fear of water (which is partially a joke, partially true), how I don't enjoy beverages, how I was dizzy, how I'm an introvert. I wasn't lying to get out of the situation, as this is true information about me. Did I come across as self-righteous? Did I come across as arrogant? Pride must be damned! Am I over thinking this scenario? Do they think that I'm some strange, draconian jerk? I know that I am strange, but I don't want to be cruel. I'm seeking after Grace, and Gentleness. For God's sake, I wish I wouldn't have said so much. Why didn't I just give a simple: "No thanks, but thanks for the invitation"? My head hurt so much from the heat, so that could have had something to do with it. I was intoxicated with the heat of the Sun! Time to pray, Graham.



Friday 16 August 2013

Dear Atheists

You have some well thought out arguments against God, The Bible, and Christ's followers.

Slavery


God in the old testament sanctioned many crimes against humanity like slavery (Leviticus 25;44) and genocide (1 Samuel 15:3). This is in contrast with what Christians and Jews call a good God that should be worshiped.


The Paradox of Omniscience


If God knows everything, then he can not forget because the moment he forgets, he doesn't know everything. However, if God cant forget, he then doesn't know how to remember or recollect. If he can't recollect. then there is something he doesn't know- he doesn't know how it feels to recollect or remember something.


Why can't God heal amputees? 


Regeneration of limbs for humans is quite impossible and difficult to fake. It comes as no surprise to atheists that we hardly hear the faith healers claim tat they have grown back a leg or an arm for an amputee.


There are two rationalizations made by apologists for this problem (which both fail)


a) God has a special plan for amputees

Well, there is no such plan in the bible or Quran. This is a simple excuse for God.

b)Amputees don't need healing

This is a sad but not surprising argument that I have heard. I would really like to know how a footballer who lost his leg wouldn't like to play football again?Or a pianist who lost his hand wouldn't like to play the piano again. It is quite insensitive to make such an argument- unfortunately such is the rationalization and mental gymnastics for God.


The reason why God doesnt heal amputees is simple. A personal omnipotent God doesnt exist. A god may or may not exist but an ambulance god does not.

I sampled from the following website: 

http://www.nairaland.com/1150005/library-best-40-atheist-arguments

I don't even know how to logically argue against these. Why?

Wednesday 14 August 2013

You and Me

I glow inside this cage,
yet I am still not safe.

For I am not like a diamond scattered between heaps of stones.
It has not come down to the fear of others.

It has come down to the fear of myself.

I often wondered what it would be like to be you.
I thought of such as being frightful.

My mind sketched pictures of agony, terror, and a lack of control.
It took me years to realize that I was going through the same thing.
I was you, and you were me.
However, it took me years to find out that I was you.

Did you ever find out that you were me?


Tuesday 13 August 2013

What about Me?

There is a God.
There is a Devil.
But is there a Me?

Friday 9 August 2013

heart, soul, chaos

I can see it. I can see the depression slowly walking toward me again. It's not that I'm necessarily weaving through personal, dystopian chaos, but I am troubled. I want to talk, but face to face communication without my notes is like taking a knife to a gunfight (Norma Jean reference). Anxiety is pretty usual for me, but lately it hasn't been so bad. Thank God for that! Thank God for happiness! And you know, I'm thankful for the other emotions too. Even the ones that are more difficult to deal with. Without emotions, I don't think I'd have my conscience. It didn't have to be that way, but that's how God designed it. Or at least, he allowed it. I don't want to put words inside the mouth of God. Every lie is like food caught between the teeth; it's uncomfortable and frankly, it's unattractive. He could have done it differently, but he didn't. I mean, he could have done anything, right? God, God, God, God, God, God, God. Would mercy be the same? Would compassion be the same? I usually feel mercy and compassion when feel bad for another person. The greatest temptation within happiness is to submit to my own utopia. Don't submit to a utopia Graham, but seek the things above.

I can pretend that you're here, but the truth is you're not. The cherished souls I met on a small island in BC (does that sound like a fictitious book or what?); you are missed. I didn't want to turn you into my idols, but maybe I turned you into that. God works through people. He is the root. Nobody is great on their own, but God works great things through humans (whether they give thanks, or not). I believe that, so are you my idols? JPEGs, videos, letters, and emails are appreciated, but I lust after physical presence. It could be awhile until I see God (only he knows), so maybe that's why I lust after seeing God through physical properties. But they're not my properties (sigh). I am to own nothing within my greed-ridden self-constructed box. 


Why does God look at The Heart? I always thought The Soul to be of more significance. Desires come from the heart don't they? What if I have evil desires until the day I die? I thought that evil desires weren't necessarily sinful, unless they were acted upon. Am I wrong? I don't understand. God, you don't fit inside my brain. I sense that is a good thing, even though it hurts sometimes.


Wednesday 7 August 2013

Reflections on Sleep

The more I meditate upon dreams, the more I recognize the profound aspect of them. Memories. Fear. Happiness. Future. Heaven. Hell. Lust. Responsibility. Control. Lack of control.

Only recently I realized that, many times, my dreams reveal profound desires which exist inside of me. These desires are so deep within me, that I only really come to them when I am not awake. Why is that? Could it be that dreams are comparable to the afterlife? I believe that the afterlife will reveal to me things that are unseen on Earth, and I have found that sleep sheds light on things unseen during my waking state. To quote Nas: "I never sleep, cause sleep is the cousin of death." (N.Y. State of Mind)


The danger in being intrigued with dreams is that human discernment is not to be trusted. In the book of Genesis, this truth is revealed through an occurrence between Pharaoh and Joseph. Pharaoh said to Joseph, “I have had a dream, but no one can interpret it; and I have heard it said about you, that when you hear a dream you can interpret it.” Joseph then answered Pharaoh, saying, “It is not in me; God will give Pharaoh a favorable answer.” (Genesis 41:16)


Sleep. Wake up. Sleep. Wake up. Right now I'm tired of both.

Friday 2 August 2013

Heaven

"Your kingdom come. Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven." Do you think this means that the earth should become like Heaven, or is it referring to a separate will of God? Jesus himself suffered on the earth, and that was in God's will; yet suffering does not happen in Heaven. What is the will that exists in Heaven?

Collaboration

Sintax the Terrific (member of Underground Hip-Hop group Deepspace5) used one of my beats and wrote lyrics to it. First off, DS5 is one of my favorite groups. He has this blog where he posts songs based on current events / politics. It's basically American News in the form of songs. You can check out the collaboration between Sintax the Terrific and Dalama Jones below. Thanks God for this opportunity!

http://www.ipoetblog.com/2013/08/the-girls/